Distance from Coventry Building Society Arena to The Hawthorns- 27 miles (43km). Travel time 45 mins

This is how we do it, it’s Friday night. West Brom is just the other side of Birmingham, so there’s no need for Scarpa to feign broken limbs or broken teeth for this away trip. Although we are going to a particularly rough part of the West Midlands, so let’s not count our chickens just yet. West Bromwich is just a stone's throw from Coventry, and it looks like a lot of stones have been thrown that way. It’s twinned with Beirut. I went to a Pub Quiz there once. The first question was ‘who you looking at’?

So heads down.

It’s just a short trip up the M6. It would take me longer to explain the journey than it actually is to make it. We get on the coach. I eat some Frazzles. We get off the coach. And here we are. In West Bromwich.

‘Bromwic’ was mentioned in the Domesday Book of 1086. The Domesday book is sometimes referred to as The Great Survey, taken at the behest of William The Conqueror, and it was sort of a Census of Britain, its towns, population and favourite TV programmes. Anyway, Bromwic means ‘broom village’. Not the kind of broom that would be used to tidy West Bromwich up. 

The Cytisus scoparius, the common broom or Scotch broom, which is a deciduous leguminous shrub native to Western and Central Europe. Obvs. So West Bromwich was beautiful. 930 years ago.

Because of its proximity to the canals and railways, and its natural resources of coal, the town became quite prosperous, with a hardworking workforce. They branched out and became known for the manufacture of springs, nails and guns. This was back in the day when guns were produced for the army. You know. Trained professionals. Not for the general public. The general public couldn’t be trusted with guns. There was a slogan at the time. ‘Guns kill people’. Because even though there was only a basic education system, and people generally left school at 14 to work in the mines, and even though there were no libraries, or internet, and there was a less than 5% literacy capability amongst the population, they still understood that guns were a pretty stupid idea. Also, there was no need to overthrow a tyrannical government. They just voted. It ain’t rocket science.

An honourable mention. Robert Plant was born in West Bromwich. So all is forgiven.

So. Football. West Brom are a good team. They’re in the playoffs and this is going to be a tough game. We got tonked at home 3-0 by Preston last week. After a goalless first half, West Brom came out strong in the 2nd half and scored 2 quick goals. City replied in the 73rd minute. The American was on target once again. He’s actually not bad. For an American. But we couldn’t find another goal, and the game ended 2-1. Half-expected, but still disappointing. The only upside is that it’s only a 45 minute journey home, and we’ll be back in time for a kebab. Kebabs make everything ok. Apart from toilets. Toilets hate kebabs.

#pusb