If you visited The Queens Pantry the other week, you may have noticed something very different. It was much quieter than usual. The service was its usual high quality, but you may have thought you were going deaf. Turns out, the gaffer went to Europe for a week. And whilst the staff partied, and the customers basked in the peace, Sammy was rock ‘n’ rolling her way across France, Belgium, Holland and Luxembourg (look them up. They are countries. They don’t play basketball, baseball or helmet rugby, but they are in the World) with soppy ballad singer James Blunt. Let’s not get carried away though. It wasn’t a crazy sex and drugs and rock n roll fest. Although one night, we did stay up until almost midnight. The next day was a write off.

Flying into Paris (no, not the video of Ms Hilton that was leaked online), Sammy met up with sparkling blogger, Blogit, and the road trip began. A short drive up to Lille, in the north of France, in a French Tesla. It was one of those voice command ones. Problem is, whenever you asked it anything, it shrugged it’s shoulders. Lille houses some beautiful architecture, probably, but we made our way straight to the venue to meet up with the band. They were sat sipping tea and discussing what to have for dinner. It made us hungry. We went to a Steak and Rib joint, Dieu Merci C’est Vendredi. We pointed at pictures on the menu and a fella on a bike with a string of garlic round his neck rode by and arrogantly threw it on the table in front of us (don’t worry, I’m going to be equally stereotypical about the other places we visited).

The gig was great. The drunkest man in the world sat next to us. I suppose he thought that the only way to cope with being dragged by his wife to a James Blunt gig was to numb the senses. The hangover in the morning was probably worth it.

Oh by the way. I’m going to resist referencing ‘you’re beautiful’ in this blog. It’s too easy.

The following morning we headed to Bruges in Belgium. It was only 2 hours away and we soon entered the walled city. There’s a great film starring Colin Farrell called In Bruges. Check it out, for the stunning location shots and the very funny encounter with 3 American tourists outside the Tower.

Bruges is famous for chocolate, beer and churches. So eat, drink and be Mary. Thank you. Goodnight.

There was no show in Bruges. We took a night time stroll through the city. The churches were lit up, the canal glistened and It was picture-postcard perfect.The scenery was, what’s the word….stunning.

Brussels was our next stop. Again, a short drive in the Tesla. Short, but you gotta spend an hour at a time charging it. I’m all for saving the environment (last year I hosted a Charity Fridge and Freezer Burning event for Save The Planet), but what a pain. Dig a hole, extract all the worlds natural resources, and get rid of electric cars. Let the kids sort it out. They seem to know it all.

We arrived in Brussels. The hotel was very funky. Lots of modern artwork, and the rooms looked like they’d be decorated by Jackson Pollock. Or a 5 year-old. We stayed on the 12th floor, and the view over the city was….erm….fantastic.

Anyway, it was in a pretty cool, up-and-coming area, and as we drove out of the hotel car park that night, to head to the show, Blogit noticed lots of men hanging about the street corners. Then he noticed lots of women, sitting in windows, with red lights above them. How very arty he thought. But then he thought a bit more. Oh.

Blogit is not allowed to book hotels again on away trips.

The next day, we had a 3 hour trip to Amsterdam. Blogit could write a book about previous visits to Amsterdam. But it certainly wouldn’t be published on a respectable website. Anyway, Blogit is a good boy nowadays. And fortunately, the hotel and arena are on the outskirts of the city, so far away from any shenanigans. Actually, it’s a nice area. The football arena of Ajax football club overshadows the hotel. And the music arena is but a 2 minute walk. We pop our clogs on, smell some tulips, jump on a bicycle and head to the venue. Everyone is pretty chilled out. The smell of jazz cigarettes hangs in the air. The band come on. The crowd go mild. You know what the Dutch are like.

Our last day sees us make the 5 hour trip to Luxembourg, officially the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg, a small landlocked country in Western Europe, about the same size as Oregon. It feels like the population of 680,00 has turned up to see the show tonight. There’s not much else to do on a Sunday night in Luxembourg. There’s not much to do on a Saturday night in Luxembourg. Or indeed a Friday night. Apparently Mondays are banging.

It’s bittersweet. This is our last show. We watch the show from the side of the stage. The lights go down, the crowd go silent… it’s……..breathtaking.

We say our goodbyes to the band and crew who have made us feel very welcome and drive to Paris. We say au revoir to the Tesla. It puts its cigarette out and gives one final shrug.

As we fly over Paris, we see the Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame and the Arc De Triomphe. They are lit up as the sun goes down.

It’s………….