So imagine our surprise when we found at that biscuits in America is not the same as biscuits in the UK. You call scones biscuits. We call biscuits biscuits. You have biscuits with gravy. We have biscuits with tea. As in tea and biscuits. 

Now, you know, I don’t want to come off all like, hoity toity, like you Yanks haven’t got a scooby when it comes to snacks, but the thing you call biscuits is a scone. A scone is made from flour and stuff and is a bit crumbly, and you put butter and jam (jelly) on it, or, if you're from The South (U S A, U S A), then creamy, sausage gravy.

Did you know, biscuits and gravy originated in the lumber yards of the south. The women made these hard ‘biscuits’ with leavened flour, but they were so disgusting that they made sausage gravy to take the taste away. Sausage gravy was a cheap source of protein you see, and the big hairy lumberjacks needed their energy because they used to chop trees down with their bare hands. Apparently, sausage gravy is sometimes known as Sawmill Gravy, and that’s why. Anyway, with the increased availability of flour, baking powder and soda in the 1880’s, the biscuits became a bit softer, more like you see today, and they started serving them at Bojangles.

Bojangles is where you eat if the meth has removed your taste buds. And, each to their own, I'm not here to say you’re wrong or anything, but, that hardened, or even softened, biscuit isn’t, technically, a biscuit. The word biscuit actually derives from the French word ‘biscuit’ which means ‘biscuit, not that crappy thing you call a biscuit that tastes horrible’. You know the French. They got a word for everything. Mon dieu. I jest. Biscuit is a French word with Latin roots. ‘Bescuit’ is the French word, but it is derived from 2 Latin words, ‘bis’ meaning ‘twice’ and ‘coquere’ to cook, so, twice cooked. That's because they cooked it once, then put it through a process of drying. And, voila, (another French word, meaning small cello, I think), the biscuit. Or le biscuit. There is a Dutch word, koekje, meaning ‘little cake’, and that’s where the word ‘cookie’ comes from. Ain’t words amazing. 

So now we know the difference, let’s talk about biscuits. Biscuits are that good, that here, at The Queens Pantry, we have a wall dedicated to them. And there is a biscuit for all occasions. If you’re feeling sad, you have a McVities Chocolate Hob Nob. If you are happy, you have a McVities Chocolate Hob Nob. Crashed your car? McVities Chocolate Hob Nob. By the way, McVities Chocolate Hob Nobs are available at The Queens Pantry. If you’ve never had the pleasure of dunking a McVities Chocolate Hob Nob in a warm tea, you have led a wasted life. A bit harsh, but seriously, what are you playing at? There are more. Jammie Dodgers (they’ve got Jam in them!!), Digestives (you can guess what they make you do), Rich Tea, Custard Creams, Bourbons, the list goes on and on. I ain't got no time to name all the biscuits at The Queens Pantry. No-one ain’t got time for that. 

Just get your biscuit-loving booty down here and see for yourself. Sammy will make you a cuppa (if your lucky!) Then she’ll show you how to dunk. Come on. Live a little. 

One more fact. Biscuits make you more attractive to your preferred sex. Oh. No. That’s beer. And muscles. Biscuits don’t give you muscles. That’s a fact. Let’s leave it on a controversial note. The best biscuit/cookie (small cake) in the world, without doubt, without argument, just pure fact is The Jaffa Cake. But is it a biscuit? Or is it a cake? Well, argue amongst yourselves. I ain’t got no time for that neither. I’ll be in the corner eating Jaffa Cakes. I need to get out more.